16-APR-2005

I found this on my Palm pilot.
I wrote it while visiting my grandparents n Florida before I came here.
That which is parenthesis is what I’ve inserted for clarification.

16-APR-2005
Today I read a book about (General) Norman Schwarzkopf.
It made me think long and hard about my future and whether or not the military is right for me.
Why would I want to dedicate such a large portion of my life to being a solider?
Why do I want to study and excel in the art of war?
War is two opposing sides, each with the potential (and intent) to cause much harm to each other,
and (potentially) innocent bystanders.

Why do I want to take up a profession were it is my job and duty to kill other human beings?
It is not for the glory.
No medal or amount of recognition is worth taking another man's life.
It is not for the money.
Even the most highly trained solider still gets paid the same as the guy who sweeps the floors.
(Either way, it’s not that much)
It is not for the lifestyle.
No one wants to move every other year just because his boss says so.
(Or to be able to pick up and go across the world in 24 hrs notice.)
(Or to separated from one’s family for the extended periods of time required by job)

After thinking long and hard about the reason why.
I've come to this conclusion.
I chose to fight so that others won't have to.
I chose to fight to protect the freedoms of others.
I chose to fight so that others may live.
I will go into battle to take the life of another solider so that he cannot take the life of someone else.
I will kill others to save the life of someone I may never know.
I will be the cause of their death to protect the freedoms of others.
(It seems to make more sense to kill a few corrupted individuals before they can cause the deaths of many more innocent people)

War is not all guts and glory. (Like in the movies)
It is having to take the life of another man to save the lives and freedom of others.
I know I will hate every minute of my service, but I will persevere so that someone else won't have to.
(Maybe not hate every part of my job, but I won’t be enjoying killing people)
This is my calling; doing the difficult for others.
It is the next logical step in my life; the continuation of my service to others.
I cannot think of a better way to serve.
I will go and do what everyone hates, but has to (must) be done.
I will fight them enemies of freedom abroad so they will not have to be fought at home.

(The following is my reflection on what I wrote in April)
We had to memorize a quote by Schwarzkopf.

“A professional solider understands that war means killing people,
war means maiming people,
war means families left without fathers and mothers.
All you have to do is hold your first dying solider in your arms
and have that terribly futile feeling that his life flowing out
and you can’t do anything about it.
Then you understand the horror of war.
Any solider worth his salt should be anti-war.
And still there are things worth fighting for.”

Robert E. Lee said something to the effect of
“It is well that war should be so terrible,
Or we should become fond of it.”

I don’t think there’s anything else to say.
I’m gonna hate the purpose of my job,
But it has to be done.