24 December 2006

Holiday Greetings

For My Democrat Friends:
"Please accept with no obligation,
Implied or implicit,
Our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible,
Low-stress,
Non-addictive,
Gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday,
Practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice,
Or secular practices of your choice,
With respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others,
Or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
We also wish youa fiscally successful,
Personally fulfilling,
And medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007,
But not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures
Whose contributions to society have helped make America great.
Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country
Nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere.
And without regard to the race,
Creed,
Color,
Age,
Physical ability,
Religious faith,
Or sexual preference of thewishes.
By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms.
This greetingis subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others,
And is void where prohibited by law
And is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected
Within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year
Or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting,
Whichever comes first,
And warranty is limited to replacement of this wish
Or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."

For My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

4 comments:

Palm boy said...

You have democrat friends?

TheEarthCanBeMoved said...

no...
But it was funny

Palm boy said...

I agree.

Hoss said...

That was cool. Mind if i copy?